IT ENDS HERE….By Ian Hawkins
Guest Post by Ian Hawkins.
A very good friend of mine was recently telling me a story about his family and how he and his wife had changed their outlook on their life and that of their family. They were heading in a direction they didn’t like, one they were all too familiar with. And so they made a crucial decision – IT ENDS HERE. He actually used those three words and they have become like a mantra to live their life by. This is so powerful and so inspiring.
Certain beliefs and behaviors that had been stuck in their family for generations were repeating and they decided enough was enough and it was time for change. This generation would be where it ends and they would set a new example for their children and their children’s children to follow. And things are changing. I can see it in him and I can see it in the stories he tells me about his wife and children.
So much of what we know and do is learned from our parents and other significant people in our life when we were young. Most of it happens automatically, speech patterns, body language and deeply held beliefs to name a few. No matter how determined you are to break any patterns from your past, if you focus on the wrong area, you can end up doing the opposite and reinforcing these beliefs and behaviors.
Focus and dwell on what you don’t want to repeat from your past and you tend to get what you were trying to avoid. And nothing changes.
Focus instead on all the amazing things you learned from your parents and on anything else that you want in your life, then you get something altogether different. You get an all new direction and all new results.
For me, some years back I made a commitment that IT ENDS HERE for the anger and frustration I had bubbling away under the surface. I wasn’t happy with the direction my life was heading and I was fed up with bringing any built up frustration home with me and taking it out on my family, the people in my life that I should have been showing the most love. While I am certainly not perfect in this area, I am 1000 times better at it than I was 5 years ago. I decided that IT ENDS HERE, I found a new direction, created a map and set off on a new course in my life. Once I created this new map, new solutions started presenting themselves to me and my family. The solutions had always been there, it was just that my new direction had brought them into my focus. I found new ways to stay calm, to get energized, to avoid that critical inner voice and ways to bring back the excitement in my life.
All these things have such a positive impact on my children and every day things get a little better. Life becomes easier and more enjoyable for all of us. Sure I have my setbacks, who doesn’t!? When I do, I am kind to myself and remember that it is ok to be human and to make mistakes. I re-focus on my plan, make the necessary adjustments and keep moving forward in a positive direction.
This is why I started Inspired Dads, I want to help as many Dads as I can make improvements in their lives so that they can see there is an alternative, you can be happier and you can deserve it. We all deserve it. If I can help just one dad and his family make a positive change then this journey will be worthwhile. I’ve seen how positive change can effect those around you. I am committed to spread this positive change and happiness far and wide. Why shouldn’t we be happy? Regardless of what you want out of your life, you are trying to get to a happier and more fulfilled place right? And that IS something worth pursuing.