Helpful Tips
for Raising High Anxiety Children
Some
anxiety is perfectly normal in a child; after all, we adults
experience it on occasion as well. Normal fears that children often
display include such things as a fear of the dark, monsters under the
bed, or being separated from their parents or guardians.
These
types of fears generally dissipate as the child gets older and learns
to differentiate between reality and fantasy. However, some children
do tend to be a bit more anxious than most and research has shown
that over 15% of infants are born with a more anxious temperament.
Other
causes for such high anxiety in a child may include major life
changes such as a move, the birth of a sibling, starting at a new
school, parental separation or the death of a loved one or pet.
If
a child is displaying signs of being overly fearful or anxious in
certain situations, it is important that this behavior is
acknowledged and addressed, both for the sake of the child and the
parents.
Signs
that may indicate that your child is struggling with an anxiety
disorder may include:
Difficulty
sleeping or nightmares
Negative
thinking patterns or self-criticism
Crying
and distress over everyday situations
Refusal
or difficulty with eating
Physical
ailments like headaches, stomach aches or fatigue
Avoidance
of trying new things
Overly
anxious over future or past events
Anger,
irritability or tantrums
Excessive
clinginess
Perfectionism
Avoidance
of social situations
If
your child displays some or all of these signs, extra support and
guidance both from parents and professional counselors may be helpful
in enabling them to enjoy their childhood, perform well in school and
interact more easily with peers.
Following
are a number of tips to help you deal with and minimize your child’s
fears:
Establish
a daily routine
Giving
a child an established daily routine can help to reduce anxiety and
help them feel more secure. It can also be helpful for parents, as it
allows them to monitor their child’s behavior and prevent any
unnecessary stress over daily happenings.
A
simple routine like getting up at a certain time, eating breakfast
and undertaking normal scheduled activities like going to school,
coming home, taking a bath, having playtime outside, etc, can help a
child to feel more relaxed as they know what to expect from their
day.
Acknowledge
and communicate about their fears
Many
parents try to alleviate their child’s fears by brushing them off
and telling them that they are imagining things or are overreacting.
However, to an anxious child, these fears are very real, and in order
for them to be overcome, they must be acknowledged and addressed
appropriately.
Give
your child a chance to communicate about their fears with you and
then discuss ways in which they can deal with or overcome their
fears. Of course, it’s good and very necessary to reassure your
child, but don’t do this in a way that downplays their fears or
dismisses them altogether.
Practice
relaxation techniques
Overly
anxious children often have difficulty coping with their worries, so
they let fear take over and control them. Because of this, it is
important to give your child a way of controlling their own emotions
and calming down when they are in a stressful situation.
For
younger children, you could talk to them about visualizing happy
pictures and singing or humming a favorite song when they are
anxious. Older children can be taught about more advanced relaxation
techniques like relaxing each muscle and taking deep breaths, or some
basic yoga.
You
could also encourage your child to visualize offloading their worries
into a physical container or box, as a way of clearing their mind and
leaving behind the anxiety.
Use
stories as illustrators
Stories
are a great way to help kids who are dealing with specific worries or
fears, like being separated from their family or having to deal with
social situations. Look for story books with pictures that deal with
such issues as being afraid of the dark, separation, boogie monsters
or coping with new experiences.
Encourage
positive thinking
Help
your child to see that negative thoughts and pessimistic behavior
puts them in an anxious mindset, while thinking about good things and
focusing on things they enjoy or are good at can help them to feel
more relaxed and happy.
When
they make negative comments about themselves or a situation, try to
bring their attention to the positive aspects.
Minimize
exposure to negative or violent media
While
this is good advice for any child, violent media like movies or TV
shows with upsetting images or video games with lots of shooting or
violent scenes can have a huge impact on a child who already has a
tendency to be fearful or anxious.
Keep
a close watch on what they are exposed to when at school or a
friend’s house, and speak to other parents and teachers about the
fact that your child may be overly sensitive to certain types of
games, movies or TV shows.
Hopefully
the above tips will help you to alleviate some of your child’s
worries and enable them to enjoy a more stress-free and happy
childhood. However, if your child continues to be overly anxious to
the point where it prevents him/her from functioning normally, it may
be a good idea to seek help from a school counselor, GP or
pediatrician, anxiety specialist or children’s health centre.
About
the author:
Jane
is part of the Open Colleges, Australia's provider child
care training.
She is a dedicated early childhood educator, and she works with
special needs children for about 6 years now. When not working, she
spends her time bonding with her family and friends.
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