We received a request on Facebook to answer this question.
How to release control and shift from resistance to cooperation.
Here's our answer... TRUST
Example: Your teenage daughter has been begging you to go to the show with a group of friends from school. Your struggling with letting her go because you are concerned if the group is really going to the show. Your thoughts are spinning. Is there going to be any alcohol involved? You really don't know all the people she will be going to the show with. Will he/she be safe?
Is your mind spirally out of control because your in a situation you cannot control?
We would stop, take a deep breath, stop the mind chatter, tune into ourselves and realize this is all part of parenting. This is a normal every day occurrence all over the country. It is ok!
Now that we are balanced and our thoughts are in order we would share our concerns with our child. Pick a calm and non hectic moment so you can express your concerns and the situation with your child. There may not be an issue, it might be the parents core beliefs and fears raising it's ugly head. Do you have legitimate reasons to be concerned? If not the bottom line is it comes down to your fears and trust. That's the tricky part, not passing your fears and core beliefs onto your child.
If your fears are legitimate take the steps necessary to put safety first for your child before permission is given. Depending on the age of your child you could do one or all of these suggestions.
- Have your child check in with a phone call during the the outing. Ask if they are comfortable and having a good time.
- Be a part of the car pool.
- If they are younger (tween age) meet and talk with the other parents.