Sep 5, 2013

Parental Alienation And Its Consequences

We all know divorce can be difficult and devastating. We assume that, during the divorce proceedings, the Courts try to do what is in the child’s best interest by allowing both loving, fit parents custody. However, what happens when one parent manages to turn the children against the other parent? What if the father teaches the children to hate or fear their own mother or the mother criticizes the father to the extent that the children no longer wish to see him? This extremely harmful behavior is called parental alienation and some may think it is impossible, but let me explain.
As Dr. Phil and many other national experts have shown, a parent manipulates the mind of their child or teen by getting them to believe lies about their loving parent. Using a set of planned strategies, which include bad-mouthing the other parent, limiting contact with that parent, forbidding discussions and pictures of the other parent, distorting happy memories, creating the impression that the other parent is dangerous, filing false allegations against this loving parent, lying in Court and to other professionals about this parent, the alienator ultimately forces the child to choose between the parents. Understandably, the sacred parent/child bond is often destroyed  and it can be decades before these children communicate with their loving parent again, if at all.. As a result, these children become wrought with psychological  problems such as depression, low self-esteem, lack of trust, substance abuse and other forms of addiction, self-hatred and shame as they internalize the hatred targeted toward the alienated parent. Many of these children commit suicide, create violent out breaks and also become victims of physical and sexual abuse as experts Dallam, Lowenstein, Johnson & Campbell  and others have shown.
Not only is the emotional cost of child abuse heartbreaking and substantial, but, according to a 2012 RNN-Raycom News Network report, the financial cost to taxpayers is staggering as well. Additionally, a report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that just one year's worth of new child abuse cases costs U.S. taxpayers $124 billion over the course of the victims' lifetimes. Unfortunately, these statistics show that our justice system is failing our children and our society.

To further illustrate the severity of this problem, many experts have shown that these children will repeat the abuse. Thus, parental alienation will continue to get worse until this abusive cycle is discontinued; which is why it is important to eliminate the laws which reward this behavior and establish ones that sanction the violators.
You may wonder why someone who seems to be a loving parent, who is even a successful professional or otherwise appears to be an upstanding individual, would behave this way. As many doctors and other parental alienation experts have shown, these parents are actually incapable of loving their children and only use them as pawns or objects. They need psychological help themselves, which is why they often view the divorce from a financial perspective, disregarding these devastating emotional harms. For example, many times, these parents create the parental alienation so they do not have to pay child support and can receive other monetary and tax benefits as the custodial parent. As the last forty years has shown, and Dr. Les Linet, Dr. Amy Baker, author Stephen Fried and others have documented, this parent enlists the help of friends, doctors, lawyers, counselors, teachers, clergy, judges and others.
While aiding in this abusive behavior of parental alienation, many of these organizations have non-profit tax status and are receiving government funds. It seems only reasonable, as common-sense legislation, that these organization’s non-profit tax status should be revoked. Furthermore, the organization , along with its board members and administrators,  should be liable, since they have a responsibility to follow the laws as individuals while making sure the organizations they run follow the laws also. Knowingly and intentionally aiding a parent in carrying out parental alienation strategies or destroying the sacred parent/child bond is a violation of our laws; specifically; a violation of the fundamental rights and other legal rights of these children, alienated parents, and possibly others.
Often the Courts do not demand full disclosure of the marital or community assets and income as my own divorce shows (transcripts and court documents available upon request). This enables a strategizing, shrewd alienating parent to hide assets in offshore accounts and other types of entities, usually with the help of a professional, essentially robbing  the loving parent of assets and income that are legally his or hers and perpetrating fraud and perjury upon the Court, IRS and possibly others. This is also intentional misrepresentation by this alienating parent, which is tantamount to lying on a loan application or other financial documents. Our tax and other laws were not intended to be manipulated in this way; but; as a result, millions of children have become brainwashed into believing they must obey this dysfunctional parent for their survival, as they need his or her financial and emotional support. The loving parent, robbed of his/her fair share of the assets and income, cannot support the children or challenge the parental alienation. Consequently, the innocent children are left in the arms of a parent, capable of only using them, not loving them and manipulated into believing their loving parent should be hated or feared. How heartbreaking and unjust.

This hateful or fearful attitude of the children is exactly what the alienating parent wants. The alienating parent feels that if he/she is getting a divorce, the children must also get divorced and be used as a pawn to control the loving parent and obtain financial benefits. In addition, by having full custody, he or she does not have to co-parent and has total control over the children,. I see this as very similar to the way terrorists operate and believe parental alienation is legal terrorism of children and society.
In the meantime, the loving parent often becomes physically ill and depressed trying to understand and cope with the change in behavior of the once kind and loving children. At the same time, the alienating parent is manipulating the minds of these innocent children he/she is also trying to ruin the loving parent by fabricating lies, stories, and criminal allegations against this parent. This intimidates the children even more because they believe that if they do not obey they will become even more miserable. Can you believe, since the courts do not recognize parental alienation as a legal cause of action? That there is no legal remedy for these victimized children and alienated parents? Furthermore, there are no sanctions or fines for the alienating parent and/or any person or organization, jointly and severally, who knowingly and intentionally aids this parent in these parental alienation strategies or in destroying the sacred parent/child relationship.

Bringing awareness to the harms of this horrific behavior will hopefully be the catalyst for instituting legislative and policy changes to end parental alienation as some refer to as legal terrorism. Beginning to recognize parental alienation will bring understanding and hopefully a resolution to help these millions of suffering children and our society.

-Sara Hassman, Parental Alienation Solutions.

Sara Hassman has passion for children's rights; especially bringing awareness to the harms the mental abuse of Parental Alienation is causing millions of children and society. 
Sara's organization, Parental Alienation Solutions,, focuses on bringing awareness to this mental abuse of children of divorces and seeks to reunite these children with their loving parents.
These children have been taught to hate or fear their loving parent and the sacred parent/child bond has been destroyed with lies and manipulations by a sick, not bad, alienating parent.
Sara Hassman is trying to bring awareness to this abuse and change the laws which are encouraging it and not punishing the abusers.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

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