Dec 30, 2011

Review ~ ParentWise: The Emotional Challenges of Family Life And How To Deal With Them By Loren Buckner, LCSW

Review By Carol Lawrence and Stacy Toten

ParentWise: The Emotional Challenges of Family Life And How To Deal With Them By Loren Buckner, LCSW

All quotes in this review are from ParentWise.

Becoming a parent has many highs and many lows. Brand new babies do not arrive with a training manual. Through Loren Buckner's own experience as a mother and a psychotherapist she has gained the important life skills, tools and techniques that she willingly shares in ParentWise. Loren provides real raw parenting experiences that touch on darker parenting emotions that many parents themselves have yet to deal with until their parenting adventure begins.

"Internal security is a crucial building block of children's psychological lives, and it is the backbone of their developing personalities."

ParentWise: The Emotional Challenges of Family Life And How To Deal With Them dives in depth into some really great parenting subjects. Here is some of the ones that we would like to draw your attention too.

1. Your children depend on you, physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
This is so important. Some parents think as long as they are providing food, shelter and sending their child off to school for an education they have all their bases covered. Children need emotional connection and support!

"It's more difficult to teach your children to manage their feelings if you avoid or are afraid of your own."

2. Finding a new parenting perspective.
Loren gives prime examples of how to distinguish the difference between what the parent is wanting and feeling and what the child wants and feels.

3. Being "good enough" as a parent is a common affliction. There is no such thing as the perfect parent. However there is active parenting where the parent continues to educate themselves to strive towards parenting excellence.

"Good enough is an important principle to hold onto because as a caring parent you have your ideals about parenting. However, we all inevitably fall short. You can't be perfect, not because your a failure as a parent. Perfection doesn't exist. Perfectionism, therefore, isn't good for you or for your kids."

4. There's a father universe too! ParentWise takes a look at the way some fathers may feel upon arrival of a new baby and how fathers can stay emotionally connected.

"The more attuned fathers are to their new family and the better they manage their own feelings, the more secure and less anxious both mother and child will be."

5. How to accept your positive and negative feelings.
All parents experience this. The positive thoughts and the negative thoughts. It' impossible to have one without the other. Loren discusses the importance of tuning into your own emotions as a parent.

"Over time, the ability to see the mother as a whole person translates into tolerating the good and the bad in others and in yourself."

Unacknowledged feelings don't just disappear, they tend to fester and bubble out into unwanted parenting behaviors. Loren Buckner does an exemplary Job at providing examples on how to work through your hidden and unwanted feelings and guilt.

ParentWise touches on numerous aspects of parenting. Covering topics all the way from  joy, worry, guilt, anger, sadness, disappointment, death, boundaries, values, trust and new perspectives.

Spread throughout the book is a list of "20 Intentions" to be used as a guide. Loren encourages the reader to journal and reflect on what was read and learned.

Food for thought questions are placed at the end of each chapter to help the reader focus more on their private thoughts and feelings.

Parenting is a journey. It's rewarding and fun but not always easy.

Connect with Loren
ParentWise is also on Facebook

Live chat with Loren Buckner, LCSW
Loren began her career as a substance abuse counselor in Waitsfield, Vermont. In 1980, she and her husband moved to Barcelona, Spain, where they taught English for two years. From Spain, they moved to Tampa, Florida, where Loren worked in community mental health for many years. She is currently in private practice as a psychotherapist. Loren has spoken to parents locally, nationally, and internationally about the emotional challenges of raising children. Her book ParentWise offers parents professional counsel in the privacy of their own homes and is a valuable resource for parents to return to again and again.

Join Carol & Stacy for a live chat with Loren Buckner Jan. 10th.
9 PM Eastern ~ 8 Central ~ 7 Mountain ~ 6 Pacific
Prizes and sponsors!
  • A lucky chat participant will win their very own copy of ParentWise: The Emotional Challenges of Family Life And How To Deal With Them By Loren Buckner, LCSW
  • All chats are sponsored by Grace from Blessed Elements ~ Nurture Your Creative Elements. Grace always creates a one-of-a kind gift for one of our lucky chat participants.
  • M.A.S.S. 101 Man Approaching Simple Soulutions By Stacy & Ed Toten To begin an examination of your life, you must first ask yourself a simple question. "Who AM I?" Thus begins the journey of M.A.S.S. 101 Man Approaching Simple Soulutions. The emphasis being on the soul. The goal of this book is for you to realize life as a "Free Thinking Human Being." Through the writing of this book we hope to share in the awakening of those who are desperately searching for answers in today's ever-changing world.
Join in on the fun and ask your questions. All our live chats are to connect parents and authors. Together we are building a community dedicated to conscious parenting.

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