7 Tips: How Does Emotional Abuse Damage Children's Self-Esteem? Part 2

7 Tips: How Does Emotional Abuse Damage Children’s Self-Esteem? Part 2

By Michael David Lawrience 

Previously, I gave the 1^st three tips in http://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/healing-emotional-abuse

1. Emotional Repression – Feel and express your feelings in healthy ways.

2. Emotional Violence – Heal your own inner child.

3. Parents Use Children to Satisfy Their Own Needs – Strengthen your self-esteem.

Emotional abuse includes verbal violence and the lack of positive emotional support. Abusers control, criticize, demean, ignore, make children less then, powerless, and victims.

So how does emotional abuse damage a child’s self-esteem?

Part 2 gives the remaining four tips:

4. Parents Lacking Ability to Meet Dependency Needs

As young children we need physical touch and emotional warmth from our parents. As children we depend on this to develop trust, connection, and a strong sense of self, core self-esteem.

My mother received little touch and warmth for her Russian parents. In addition, her mother died when my mother was still young. My mother then became the caretaker mom for her dad and six other siblings. As I mentioned before I also had an emotionally absent father.

I grew up mistrusting others and most of all mistrusting myself. I lacked confidence. I always wanted to know how to do any new project before I did it, figure it out first.

Tip: Learn how to strengthen your self-esteem over time. See The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi.

5. Feelings Denied

Tips On Tantrums By Loren Buckner, LCSW

Tips on Tantrums

Whether the tantrum begins in the supermarket and you feel like everyone's eyes are on you, or you're in the privacy of your home, temper-tantrums are always frustrating, and they're often infuriating. So parents wonder, "What am I supposed to do when my child is having a tantrum?"

I recommend to parents that they stay as calm as possible. Yelling or threatening a child rarely gets them to settle down. When parents lose control, they are matching their child's behavior and this, in all likelihood, will make matters worse.

I've had many parents tell me that they could calm down if only their child wasn't making such an awful scene. Managing this difficult moment, however, rests in parental hands. We can't expect children to be more in control of their emotions than we are of our own.     

So as best as you can, lower your voice and look into your child's eyes. Say things like, "I know you're upset. I know you're mad. You are really really mad. I know. It feels terrible not to get your way. You are so disappointed. I understand." It's always worth it to name and understand your child's feelings. It may not stop this temper-tantrum, but you'll be giving your child tools for later on.

If this doesn't calm things down, though, you'll probably have to stop what you're doing. If you're in a store, consider leaving or at least going out to the car. Parents in a hurry and under pressure to get things done become focused on finishing their errands which, when a child is out of control, isn't going to end well.

      

It's inconvenient and frustrating to walk away from a grocery cart filled with food. But whenever possible, parenting becomes the priority. You want your child to experience the consequences of the tantrum. He/she goes home, to the car, sits in time out, goes to bed early, misses dessert, or TV time.

Giving in to tantrums pretty much guarantees the likelihood of another one, although all parents are guilty, from time to time, of taking this immediate way out. Remember that parenting is a messy business, sometimes the best you can do is muddle through and do better next time. To be thoughtful, purposeful, and unselfish every time a child asks for something is next to impossible.

Unless your child is too young to understand,

Carol And Stacy Interview Children's Author Vicki Scalzo-Savini

Article first published as The Light Inside of Me - An Interview with Author, Vicki Scalzo on Technorati.

1. What inspired you to write The Light Inside Of Me?

     I was inspired to write “The Light Inside of Me,” by a child who had anger issues. A few years ago I was in a situation where one of our elementary schools had asbestos, so they closed the school to remove it and moved our whole school into another building and we all doubled up. I worked with a friend of mine.  Together we had approximately 40 children in the class.  While one of us was teaching, the other would co-teach or prep the next lesson. One of my colleague’s students, named Bryce, was giving her an awful time.  He was very disrespectful and angry in general.  I took a liking to him because I saw that inside that hard shell he pretended to have, he was an amazing kid just looking to be noticed.  I sat down at the desk and wrote a poem titled, “The Light Inside of Me” to do a reader response with the kids. It changed Bryce’s life, my life, and hopefully millions of children in the near future!

2. Where did you get the idea to use children's illustrations?  What a fantastic concept!

     I had this book typed behind my desk for years. For fun, I would have the children illustrate different pages each year.  I never saw this book illustrated by an adult; I always knew it had to be illustrated by children because they have an amazing way of expressing their brilliance. When I finally decided to move forward to publish, there was never a question as to who would illustrate the book. I held an art contest in my elementary school and the rest is history.

    3. When did your deep love for teaching and inspiring children begin?   

Review: Frequency The Power Of Personal Vibration By Penney Peirce

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." ~ Harold Whitman

Frequency the Power of Personal Vibration By Penney Pierce 

Book includes free audio downloads to assist you on your journey.

Frequency The Power of Personal Vibration By Penney Peirce is a manual for living an energetically intuned life! Learn how to "feel" your way through life "frequency" by "frequency."

Penney's new book embraces a new way of experiencing life as a vibrational being.

"When you start using senses you've neglected, your reward is to see the world with completely fresh eyes." ~ Barbara Sher

"You might find that heightened empathy--the sense of loving the light within others and feeling connected because of it - helps you know what exactly people need, even before they do" ~ Penney Peirce

What a gift Penney Peirce gives her readers. Instructions on how to "activate your diamond light body." This should be made into a poster. Penney describes your diamond light body, how to step into it, activate it, maintain it and put it to use. This is a priceless gift.

"Transformation literally means going beyond your form." ~ Wayne Dyer

Have you ever wondered how your feeling habits were developed?

An Invitation From Vick Savini

The Infinity Foundation

Presents... The Greatest Love There is a DEFINITE reason why you are instructed to put the oxygen mask on your face first in an aircraft, before you help others, in the event of an emergency... If you can't breathe, you certainly cannot help others! Just for a moment, consider what it takes to create a building in our society... It usually starts with a blueprint of some sort, then the foundation is laid, and the structure is built on top of that foundation.  What would happen to that building if the foundation was not strong, safe, and reliable?  Right!  It would likely pose a danger to society at some point in time.  Imagine that we, as human beings, have a foundation…  Our foundation is laid in childhood,  and truth is, you cannot say, ‘What happens in childhood, stays in childhood,’ but the good news is... It’s never too late to repair and strengthen the foundation you began with.   When you sign up for my new complimentary eBook, you will learn that the first step in building, repairing, or strengthening a foundation is to love yourself. Now, I know that sounds cliché, and you’ve likely heard it several times before, but it is what it is, and learning to love yourself, truly is the greatest love of all!

Pure Presence With Suzy Miller ~ Aligning to Self

Enjoy this rebroadcast of Suzy Miller's radio show "Pure Presence - Aligning to Self with Suzy Miller.

(Suzy Miller is the author of Awesomism, an amazing book about Autism)

"As we become the new humans, humanity is going through a process where we are continually being re-calibrated to the highest aspect of who we really are. Throughout the world, many are now being called to rediscover and reconnect with the potential and possibilities that have been hidden within them for so long. The time has come for a new community of humans who are not afraid to be and continue to become the fullest expression of themselves. If this resonates with you, join Suzy Miller every first and third Friday and participate in a free Pure Presence balance and integration experience."

Episode: 'via Blog this'